There is this “thing” you need to do. It is not a big task. Not difficult. But for some reason, you just don’t want to do it. (Cleaning something, putting things away, sorting that junk drawer, making a phone call.) Notice how you find lots of other things to do instead. Maybe some of them are productive, or not so productive. (Reading a book, cleaning something else, getting on Facebook, playing a video game.)
So you have the motivation to do any number of other tasks. What is so difficult about doing that one thing you should do? Ah, therein is the clue. That word – should. It does not make any difference how old we are, there seems to be a part of our brain that occasionally resists being told what to do. There are a great number of ideas and suggestions about how to motivate ourselves to complete less than desirable tasks. Set small goals. Give yourself a reward. Tell someone your plan. Deny yourself something desirable until the less desirable task is done. There are pros and cons to each idea.
Set small goals. Many believe this is one of the more successful motivators. We all like to be able to check something off a to-do list. There is that part of the brain that derives pleasure from a sense of accomplishment. This is particularly beneficial if the task at hand is a bit on the large or overwhelming side. Do you know how to eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
Give yourself a reward. This works only if the reward is something you would consider a treat and easily acquired shortly after completion of the task. Telling yourself you will go out to dinner next week, might not motivate you to clean out that closet today. But watching a favorite movie with a glass of wine may be a reward that works. Keep the reward simple and immediate. Especially if the task is not a huge undertaking.
Tell someone your plan. This is helpful if the job has several steps or is ongoing. (De-clutter something, start a diet or start to exercise.) Relating your progress and getting feedback is a great motivator. We all like to brag. And we all like to hear some version of “good job” no matter how old we are.
Deny yourself something desirable. Those who talk and write about motivation state this is less successful. Positive reinforcement always trumps negative reinforcement. You get to do ‘x’ is better than you can’t do ‘y.’
There are certainly other methods of finding motivation. However you find motivation, one of the basics to consider: the brain is naturally wired for instant gratification. We want what we want and we want it NOW. (Think of the amount of instant food, drive through food, faster internet speeds, impatient drivers, times we eat or buy something because it “feels good” now.)
Delayed gratification (being able to believe that waiting will give us something better) comes natural to some, but has to be learned by most. Studies have shown that some children as young as 5 and 6 can delay gratification, though most do not. It is something that has to be learned and practiced. What does this have to do with motivation? When we choose our motivator, we need to balance between our desire for instant gratification and waiting to receive something good. This thing about instant vs. delayed gratification is also related to why we struggle to find the motivation initially to complete that task. We know it needs to be done, and we lack the patience to do it. We want it to happen “by magic.”
Shalom,
Nancy
President