September 2016
Shalom All,
As I write this article for the September Bulletin, I am in Hawaii with my family. We are here to move Gabriella into her dorm at Hawaii Pacific University. Beyond how beautiful and amazing this little island in the Pacific is, I am struck by how significantly different Sabrina’s and my life is going to be as “empty nesters.” Noah moved into his own apartment this summer and is starting classes at Kirkwood this week.
I know I’m not the first parent to go through this change, however, I realized that Sabrina and I had about four years together as couple, and were married for about 2 and a half, before we became parents. Now, nearly 20 years after Noah was born, we are once again going to be just a couple. Yes, we are still parents, and I hope we will continue to influence our children’s lives even as the daily interactions become less frequent. Since becoming an adult myself, I’ve probably averaged weekly talks with my own parents, though I know they are there for me whenever I need them.
In Ecclesiastes there is the very famous passage about there being a time for everything under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to reap, a time to embrace one another and a time to let go…
Obviously, I’ve reached one of those times. Though, how one leaves their child 4000 miles away from home isn’t really discussed by Kohelet, the Ecclesiastical writer. For now, I can only give her a huge hug, assure her that I’m there for her whenever she needs me, and pray that I’ve raised her as best I could and that she is truly ready for this stage of her life.
When I return to Cedar Rapids, it will be to a new stage in my own life too. I know it won’t be completely different. Services, Religious School, Musical Shabbat and High Holy Day preparations will help it feel familiar. Nevertheless, it won’t be the same either.
I will see you all next week. If I look a little down when you see me, please remind me that the goal of parenthood is to see your kids grow up and become their own adults, even though part of us will always see them as children.
Shalom,
Rabbi Todd
